College Prep: The Crash Course part one

Everything you've been doing in the past four years of your life have led up to the big C word: Cupcake. Just kidding, although if I was working four years of my life to receive cupcakes, it better be a lifetime supply.

I'm talking about COLLEGE. Most people our age twenty or thirty years ago never even went to college because it was not in the cards for them. You have been allotted a very special opportunity and mustn't let it go to waste. As usual, I've come to your rescue to aid you in navigating the rough waters and terrain ahead as you prepare to start the next chapter of your life. Can you believe I'm this nice?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to College Prep for the average procrastinator. Naturally, you have been bombarded from all sides by teachers, classmates, university representatives, sports recruiters, your parents, and even random strangers about where you are going to school and what you are planning on majoring in. I'll leave the segment about majors for Part Two, but for the aforementioned, I can most certainly be of service.

So what things should you even consider when deciding where to go to college? Well, one should start by considering the following questions:

1. How far away would I like to be from home?

2. Do I like big cities or small towns?

3. Will I be comfortable around thousands upon thousands of strangers, many who will possibly be showing up to class in their pajamas?

4. Does the school offer majors that I am interested in?

5. Would I like to go to public or private school?

These are just basic questions, not even covering things like Greek life, ,sports, extracurricular, and the overall student body. 

Here are some questions NOT to consider when making your college decision:

1. Are there cute boys/girls?
--- "Cute" is subjective, but unless you choose a single gender university, GIRLS and BOYS are everywhere, so silly question, move on.

2. Will there be food?
--- Again, a silly question. I guarantee the school does not want a lawsuit on their hands from when you die of malnutrition and/or starvation. Plus, people follow food, so OF COURSE, there will be food. Now, whether or not it is GOOD food is a different story

3. Are my [insert boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend/dog] going there?
---PLEASE do not make a college decision based off of someone else! Last time I checked, when you receive a diploma, it only has ONE name on it, meaning, it's that one name's decision on where to go to school and to pick a place that is right for them.  For example, just because your boyfriend loves football, it doesn't mean you'll personally enjoy being in the student section of a football game with millions of crazy, screaming, and occasionally drunk sports fans. Also, as a side note, you need to consider that people change when they get to college. Your relationship or friendship may be all sunshine and rainbows now, but six months away from home in a new environment is enough to destroy any relationship, especially one that was shaky to begin with.

4. What about the parties/social life?
---I won't lie, this was one of my questions when I was looking into colleges. Yes, your social life is important. No one wants to go off to college and be bored. I can do that for free at home. However, I know I am going to sound like a parent when I say this, but school comes first. The parties will happen when they happen, you'll be in college, where someone, somewhere, parties. Just focus on working hard, so you can play harder.

You're going to ask yourself a million questions and do hours upon hours of research, but ultimately its up to you and you alone. You also must be prepared to accept the harsh realities of either not being accepted to your first choice school or not being able to afford it, but regardless of the circumstances, make wherever it is you go, your home. 

Pristine 2015: Back from a Hiatus

    I am not going to sit here and apologize for not posting in God knows how long because, to be frank, life happens. I do, however, apologize for not sharing my experiences with you as they happened because, BOY, has a lot happened since the last time I've posted.

   I would like to start out by saying, as belated as ever, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know, it's February, like, super late February, but better late than never, right?

  Since my last appearance, I have graduated little ole high school and have gone off to college and the microcosm of the real world. Safe to say that I'm doing big girl things now, not quite womanly things because I do not pay the following: phone bill, hair salon bill, car bill, college bill. So for now, I'm just an overgrown kid.

   For my own personal growth, I've dubbed this year The Year of Success. I know, it's incredibly cliche, however, I feel like success in itself, even by definition, can be applied to countless areas of life, whether it be an academic, spiritual, or physical/bodily goal.

  I have some amazing material prepared for you guys and I wish I could post it all into one GIANT blog entry, but then A) You would all hate me and B) It would basically be a  300 page novel.

So gear up, Honestly? Subscribers, because I am back and wittier than ever.

to anyone who's wondering what I've been up to, part two

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!
Hello my loyal readers, I'm sososososososososo sorry (I honestly couldn't apologize enough) for going missing in action. I've been so inconceivably busy, you simply could not understand. On average, I probably have been getting three or four hours of sleep a WEEK. Anyone who knows me, however, would tell you that I function like I've slept like a BABY......(those who don't know me, but know my story, they would tell you I'm on hard drugs...sigh, I wish I was).

     Anyway, believe it or not, my life has changed SOOOOOOO much since the last time I've posted on here. I usually choose to be discreet when it comes to certain things, but in these next few posts, I'm prepared to lay everything out on the table. I've kept things to myself for way too long and personally feel like my blog is a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I don't necessarily care if people read it because I know I'm not the only person out there who finds themselves in situations like this.

And so the stories begin:

    I cannot remember a time in my life where I wasn't dieting. 

Scratch that, I remember the years between third and fifth grade when I was on some serious ish.

Pushing 789604 pounds, looking like a walking mini fridge fully stocked.

That could float in swimming pools and wore whatever clothes fit.

............................................................

Why does that sound alot like me now?

        

       Anyway, I'm normally a good dieter. I work out 3-4 times a week, eat plenty of fruits and veggies, log all my food in a journal, etc etc. Lately, however, I've been seriously procrasinating. With a goal that seems far near impossible, I contemplate why dieting is so hard. I wish that no matter what I ate, it would have some sort of slimming effect. Brownies, for example, why can't I have you? It's like the forbidden fruit, chocolatey and all. No one will ever understand the ache I experience in my chest every time I drive past a McDonald's and can't go to the drive thru and order a McChicken with medium fries and a Mocha McFrappe. I just have to keep my eyes on the road and imagine how happy I'll be after I lose X amount of weight. Trust me, thoughts of me eating fries drenched in ketchup try to overrun my skinny mini dreams, BUT, I push myself.

    Being the cupcake I naturally am, I despise exercise. Just the thought of sweating and bruising and soreness deters me from even getting out of bed at 9 in the morning. Some people say "Oh, I love working out, it makes me feel so good. It gives me a high I've never experienced" blah, blah, BLAH. No, not me. Working out makes me feel closer to death than type 2 diabetes would EVER make me feel and the only high I wish I was feeling was hard drugs like, crack, rather than being on an elliptical. I know there are other ways to work out and burn calories, but the old fashioned way seems to be the only regimen that truly produces results. I did the Insanity DVDs....for two days. They were the hardest workouts I ever put my poor body through and my body made sure to avenge itself from my torture by being sore for the next few weeks. I just can't win when it comes to working out. I don't care what anyone says, it's never about physical strength; it's all about your mental state. I know when things are going downhill and that I'll never make it through a workout once I start hallucinating. All of a sudden, the girl doing crutches on screen turns into a brownie with powered sugar on top. Then I pause the DVD and do my best high knees into the kitchen and into the snack cabinet.

     Eating healthy doesn't even SOUND fun. There is nothing fun about lettuce. I've never heard someone say "Oh yeah, I throwing a party, who's bringing the lettuce?!" No, lettuce is the ugly stepsister who never has her happy ending. When dieting, I opt for the Mean Green Smoothies, which consist of spinach, kale, and any fruits that will mask the taste of the kale (spinach is tasteless). It usually works out for a couple of weeks, until I start running out of ideas or spinach. There's only so many Mean Banana Bean Green Smoothies you can take until you're reaching for the Jimmy Dean's Sausage Biscuits in the freezer. I only have a few weeks left until school starts and my mother has made it obvious that she isn't buying new uniforms if the ones I already have don't fit. On that note, the sad cupcake girl chronicles continue. If anyone would like to donate to the Desh-too-tight-uniform foundation, be my guest.

to anyone who's wondering what I've been up to, part one

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!
Hello my loyal readers, I'm sososososososososo sorry (I honestly couldn't apologize enough) for going missing in action. I've been so inconceivably busy, you simply could not understand. On average, I probably have been getting three or four hours of sleep a WEEK. Anyone who knows me, however, would tell you that I function like I've slept like a BABY......(those who don't know me, but know my story, they would tell you I'm on hard drugs...sigh, I wish I was).

     Anyway, believe it or not, my life has changed SOOOOOOO much since the last time I've posted on here. I usually choose to be discreet when it comes to certain things, but in these next few posts, I'm prepared to lay everything out on the table. I've kept things to myself for way too long and personally feel like my blog is a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I don't necessarily care if people read it because I know I'm not the only person out there who finds themselves in situations like this.

And so the stories begin:

     It all starts with my friends. Sure, I don't know where I'd be without them, but DAMN, girls can be CAT TEE. I'm not a naturally "mean girl", but, I don't pop off for any random reason. All my rage is normally directed by fact and not fiction. To anyone who knows the story I'm about to tell, feel free to insert personal information in your heads, but to those who don't, let's just call these two girls Jane and Kathy. Jane WAS (emphasis on WAS) my best friend, like a sister to me. If you asked me two months ago if we would ever stop being best friends, I would've told you to have a seat...on a cactus. Now that everything has happened, I regret absolutely nothing because if God didn't want things to happen the way they did, He would have given me some sort of sign, BUT, things went south quickly. See, Jane had a major jealousy problem. She only wanted me to be friends with her and only her. If I even GREETED someone else, she felt threatened. I will never understand why, because it was always clear where my loyalties were, but maybe I never made myself clear. Jealousy was honestly the root of the problem. I had just recently begun to become friends with Kathy, who was a year older and a true bad ass. Contrary to popular belief, she has a heart of gold and is truly one of my best friends. Sure, she had her shortcomings, but nobody's perfect and those who claim to be are far from it. Jane and Kathy automatically took a disliking to one another, which initially never made me think twice. I simply understood that everyone's not going to like each other, but I was not going to stop being friends with either of them, so I gave them both identical advice: "Get the hell over it." Anyone with a level head on their shoulders would see the situation like this: It was February, Kathy graduated in May, that was THREE FREAKING MONTHS. Whatever issue Jane had with her, could have been squashed and pushed under the rug, until then. BUT OF COURSE, my life is never that damn easy. Jane went on and on and on and on about how much she hated Kathy and how she was above her, she is high class, of high caliber, about how Kathy amounted to nothing, was white trash, was worthless, etc etc, and may I point out, alot of this Shadow Thuggin' happened IN PUBLIC around people who KNEW Kathy, and would not hesitate to tell her. I, fortunately, was never around for this defamation of character. I conveniently always managed to be absent when the shadow thuggin went down. It wasn't until things started to be said about me, that I decided I should take a second look at the situation. Now I KNOW, this TRICK wasn't sitting there talking about ME? At the time, I was honestly the ONLY PERSON who gave a damn about whether she even woke up in the morning and never said anything as bad as she was saying about me (I refuse to repeat what was said because it is just ridiculous to pass on). I thought, well, let me just wait and I'll see how this all plays out because at this point, there's really nothing I could do. I know it's wrong to say, but I was almost looking FORWARD to seeing Jane get her ass handed to her, but in the back of my mind, I really hoped that what was said was A) not true and B) never passed on.

    Armageddon happened in late March. Kathy had agreed with me that she would stop "terrorizing" Jane for the rest of the year. That was on a Tuesday and was honestly one of the happiest days of the year. The next to days were like heaven on Earth. Every single one of us laughing excessively, being loud and obnoxious, and sharing food as if we sincerely loved each other and had a Sisterhood of the Traveling cafeteria Cookie going on. Unfortunately, that same week, Thursday, proved to be the end of a thing that was way too good to be true. We were sitting at lunch like the freaking Winx Club when my sister came over and asked me for a dollar. I told her if Bandz a Make Her Dance, she can have that dollar to buy a Pop Tart. As everyone giggled and I egged my sister on, all I heard behind me was yelling. When I looked back, Jane and Kathy are going neck and neck about whatever it was that just happened in the five seconds that I had my back turned. Apparently, (I am now reporting what was told to me) Jane had to Kathy to shut the hell up because Kathy had said something that offended Jane. Whatever, not my problem. WRONG.

    Next thing I know, everyone's suddenly taking sides in this unofficial war of the vaginas. I was unsure about that what was actually happening so I decided to take a mental health day from school the next day (Mental Health Day= eat.sleep.repeat) When I awoke from the first cycle of mental health day, I unsuspecting checked Twitter, where I was shocked to find Kathy bluntly calling Jane out of her name and swearing up and down that she was going to kill her. Well, what a great way to start my morning. Minutes later, I am bombarded by texts from Kathy telling me to tell her everything Jane said about her because she already knew. Dammit, I was now in a predicament for the history books. It then dawned on me, hitting me like a ton of bricks; this was not my problem, nor was it ever mine to begin with, it was Jane's. Jane had been putting a strain on every one of my friendships for the past few months, making me fight her battles against some of my closest friends and taking advantage of my loyalty because she knew I would never turn my back on her. On that day, that loyalty was finally broken. I didn't need someone causing all types of misery and mess in my life. I consciously decided that I no longer wanted to be her friend. I felt a sort of hatred most people would only feel for their arch enemy. In those few moments, Jane suddenly made the list. When she contacted me that night, I was still on a bloodthirsty high. I wanted nothing but to see her suffer. At the time, I did still hold on to some imaginary strand that was keeping our friendship together and relevant. When I answered the phone, however, all of that went down the drain when she suddenly began accusing me of this, that, and the third. Home girl is SO lucky this was on the phone and not in person, because it would have been kill first, ask questions later. She denied ever saying anything about me or Kathy and said everyone was lying and they were jealous, etc etc, placing the blame wherever she felt it needed to be. I clearly told her that I was no longer fighting in her corner and that she was on her own indefinitely because I just couldn't stand being lied to.

   When I look back at things today, if she just owned up to her shortcomings instead of redirecting the blame and denying everything, we would never be where we are today. I'm not heartless; if she apologized for what she said, we would have worked on it and gotten through it, things happen. But NOOOOO, bitches stay basic and to this day, she'll still deny it. I mean, yeah I lost a best friend, but I gained something a lot more valuable: Knowledge. I was able to look beyond my feelings and look at the facts at hand. Period point blank, I don't do misery, and everything about Jane screams it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't make the decisions I had to make. I regret absolutely nothing about everything that happened and I pretty much put it in the past. As I mature, I've learned to not hold onto grudges like I have in the past and to not let my anger control my life. I forgive, but never forget, and could never return to the past. Fortunately, I do look forward to my future with the friends I've managed to keep and those who've shown me that they're down with me one hundred and ten percent, just as I am for them.

2012 Wrap Up pt.1

"Sometimes, I go on a rant and I write things when the emotions are the most raw and prevalent. I find these times to be the most insightful because they give you a glimpse at someone else's psyche. It proves to you that they are just like you, even though you've already made up your mind of who this person was." -Anonymous

I'm going to start off by being completely blunt:
        This year proved to me that those that I called my best friends, are or can be, unfortunately and predictably, my closest enemies. Friendship is a two way street and as long as one feels animosity towards the other, the bridge burns. The problem is that people expect so much from friendship; people come and go, you just have to keep moving forward without ever looking back at the ashes you once cherished. I'm not going to say "oh next year's going to be different. NEW YEAR, NEW ME", because it's bull. I'm not going to change, I'm just going to make changes. No more TRYING to keep friendships alive. If you want me around, you need to make the same effort I am. If it's not working, it's not working. Things go bad and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm not going to keep up appearances for anyone I feel isn't worth my time. I hate to say it, but when I done with you, you're out. There's no such thing as second chances with me. It's either you're with me, or you're without me; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. A new year to me means spring clean up of my social interactions.