College Prep: The Crash Course part one

Everything you've been doing in the past four years of your life have led up to the big C word: Cupcake. Just kidding, although if I was working four years of my life to receive cupcakes, it better be a lifetime supply.

I'm talking about COLLEGE. Most people our age twenty or thirty years ago never even went to college because it was not in the cards for them. You have been allotted a very special opportunity and mustn't let it go to waste. As usual, I've come to your rescue to aid you in navigating the rough waters and terrain ahead as you prepare to start the next chapter of your life. Can you believe I'm this nice?

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Welcome to College Prep for the average procrastinator. Naturally, you have been bombarded from all sides by teachers, classmates, university representatives, sports recruiters, your parents, and even random strangers about where you are going to school and what you are planning on majoring in. I'll leave the segment about majors for Part Two, but for the aforementioned, I can most certainly be of service.

So what things should you even consider when deciding where to go to college? Well, one should start by considering the following questions:

1. How far away would I like to be from home?

2. Do I like big cities or small towns?

3. Will I be comfortable around thousands upon thousands of strangers, many who will possibly be showing up to class in their pajamas?

4. Does the school offer majors that I am interested in?

5. Would I like to go to public or private school?

These are just basic questions, not even covering things like Greek life, ,sports, extracurricular, and the overall student body. 

Here are some questions NOT to consider when making your college decision:

1. Are there cute boys/girls?
--- "Cute" is subjective, but unless you choose a single gender university, GIRLS and BOYS are everywhere, so silly question, move on.

2. Will there be food?
--- Again, a silly question. I guarantee the school does not want a lawsuit on their hands from when you die of malnutrition and/or starvation. Plus, people follow food, so OF COURSE, there will be food. Now, whether or not it is GOOD food is a different story

3. Are my [insert boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend/dog] going there?
---PLEASE do not make a college decision based off of someone else! Last time I checked, when you receive a diploma, it only has ONE name on it, meaning, it's that one name's decision on where to go to school and to pick a place that is right for them.  For example, just because your boyfriend loves football, it doesn't mean you'll personally enjoy being in the student section of a football game with millions of crazy, screaming, and occasionally drunk sports fans. Also, as a side note, you need to consider that people change when they get to college. Your relationship or friendship may be all sunshine and rainbows now, but six months away from home in a new environment is enough to destroy any relationship, especially one that was shaky to begin with.

4. What about the parties/social life?
---I won't lie, this was one of my questions when I was looking into colleges. Yes, your social life is important. No one wants to go off to college and be bored. I can do that for free at home. However, I know I am going to sound like a parent when I say this, but school comes first. The parties will happen when they happen, you'll be in college, where someone, somewhere, parties. Just focus on working hard, so you can play harder.

You're going to ask yourself a million questions and do hours upon hours of research, but ultimately its up to you and you alone. You also must be prepared to accept the harsh realities of either not being accepted to your first choice school or not being able to afford it, but regardless of the circumstances, make wherever it is you go, your home. 

Pristine 2015: Back from a Hiatus

    I am not going to sit here and apologize for not posting in God knows how long because, to be frank, life happens. I do, however, apologize for not sharing my experiences with you as they happened because, BOY, has a lot happened since the last time I've posted.

   I would like to start out by saying, as belated as ever, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know, it's February, like, super late February, but better late than never, right?

  Since my last appearance, I have graduated little ole high school and have gone off to college and the microcosm of the real world. Safe to say that I'm doing big girl things now, not quite womanly things because I do not pay the following: phone bill, hair salon bill, car bill, college bill. So for now, I'm just an overgrown kid.

   For my own personal growth, I've dubbed this year The Year of Success. I know, it's incredibly cliche, however, I feel like success in itself, even by definition, can be applied to countless areas of life, whether it be an academic, spiritual, or physical/bodily goal.

  I have some amazing material prepared for you guys and I wish I could post it all into one GIANT blog entry, but then A) You would all hate me and B) It would basically be a  300 page novel.

So gear up, Honestly? Subscribers, because I am back and wittier than ever.

to anyone who's wondering what I've been up to, part two

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!
Hello my loyal readers, I'm sososososososososo sorry (I honestly couldn't apologize enough) for going missing in action. I've been so inconceivably busy, you simply could not understand. On average, I probably have been getting three or four hours of sleep a WEEK. Anyone who knows me, however, would tell you that I function like I've slept like a BABY......(those who don't know me, but know my story, they would tell you I'm on hard drugs...sigh, I wish I was).

     Anyway, believe it or not, my life has changed SOOOOOOO much since the last time I've posted on here. I usually choose to be discreet when it comes to certain things, but in these next few posts, I'm prepared to lay everything out on the table. I've kept things to myself for way too long and personally feel like my blog is a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I don't necessarily care if people read it because I know I'm not the only person out there who finds themselves in situations like this.

And so the stories begin:

    I cannot remember a time in my life where I wasn't dieting. 

Scratch that, I remember the years between third and fifth grade when I was on some serious ish.

Pushing 789604 pounds, looking like a walking mini fridge fully stocked.

That could float in swimming pools and wore whatever clothes fit.

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Why does that sound alot like me now?

        

       Anyway, I'm normally a good dieter. I work out 3-4 times a week, eat plenty of fruits and veggies, log all my food in a journal, etc etc. Lately, however, I've been seriously procrasinating. With a goal that seems far near impossible, I contemplate why dieting is so hard. I wish that no matter what I ate, it would have some sort of slimming effect. Brownies, for example, why can't I have you? It's like the forbidden fruit, chocolatey and all. No one will ever understand the ache I experience in my chest every time I drive past a McDonald's and can't go to the drive thru and order a McChicken with medium fries and a Mocha McFrappe. I just have to keep my eyes on the road and imagine how happy I'll be after I lose X amount of weight. Trust me, thoughts of me eating fries drenched in ketchup try to overrun my skinny mini dreams, BUT, I push myself.

    Being the cupcake I naturally am, I despise exercise. Just the thought of sweating and bruising and soreness deters me from even getting out of bed at 9 in the morning. Some people say "Oh, I love working out, it makes me feel so good. It gives me a high I've never experienced" blah, blah, BLAH. No, not me. Working out makes me feel closer to death than type 2 diabetes would EVER make me feel and the only high I wish I was feeling was hard drugs like, crack, rather than being on an elliptical. I know there are other ways to work out and burn calories, but the old fashioned way seems to be the only regimen that truly produces results. I did the Insanity DVDs....for two days. They were the hardest workouts I ever put my poor body through and my body made sure to avenge itself from my torture by being sore for the next few weeks. I just can't win when it comes to working out. I don't care what anyone says, it's never about physical strength; it's all about your mental state. I know when things are going downhill and that I'll never make it through a workout once I start hallucinating. All of a sudden, the girl doing crutches on screen turns into a brownie with powered sugar on top. Then I pause the DVD and do my best high knees into the kitchen and into the snack cabinet.

     Eating healthy doesn't even SOUND fun. There is nothing fun about lettuce. I've never heard someone say "Oh yeah, I throwing a party, who's bringing the lettuce?!" No, lettuce is the ugly stepsister who never has her happy ending. When dieting, I opt for the Mean Green Smoothies, which consist of spinach, kale, and any fruits that will mask the taste of the kale (spinach is tasteless). It usually works out for a couple of weeks, until I start running out of ideas or spinach. There's only so many Mean Banana Bean Green Smoothies you can take until you're reaching for the Jimmy Dean's Sausage Biscuits in the freezer. I only have a few weeks left until school starts and my mother has made it obvious that she isn't buying new uniforms if the ones I already have don't fit. On that note, the sad cupcake girl chronicles continue. If anyone would like to donate to the Desh-too-tight-uniform foundation, be my guest.