Tests. The
dreadful invention of
some scholar out there (who should have been
shot, by the way) who thinks the torture of the classroom should be
extended into a student's daily life. Instead of enjoying life, hanging out with friends, sleeping, having an ice cream sandwich,
NOPE, you've got to sit down and study for an
impossible test you have to take in the next 24 hours.
This is fuckery, I swear to you. But for me, as an individual, studying is an all night struggle of trying to cram information in my head before a huge test on material that is all new to me, whereas my teacher has gone over this for two weeks. Therefore, let me present:
Kerdesha: Studying Kills
based on a true story
5:00pm - I always start off with an innocent idea:
to study and pass whatever ridiculousness I had to face the next day. So I put all my study materials together. For Kerdesha to study, she needs:
- pencils and pens
- a highlighter
- study materials
- online textbook
- iPod
- a bombass sandwich
- a cookie (yup, singular)
Anyway, so after I put together everything I need, I sit down and prepare my mind for a few minutes (
hence the sandwich and cookie) just to make sure I can absorb the material to the best of my ability. After my
mini meditation session,
I get to work. I start off strong, knocking
1/4 of my study guide out of the park, but then knowing me, things start to get
complicated. My computer
seduces me with a
Facebook notification (
George Washington and 6 others like your status ) and I say to myself :
"Oh, well aren't I pretty fucking popular?!" and log onto Facebook.
It's only for a few minutes, then I'll get back to work. A few minutes turn into a
a couple hours and before I know it's
7:34.
Ohhhhh shiiiit, I exclaim and get back to my busy work. Soon enough, I start to think about a song I've been thinking about all day and open
Youtube in a new tab. When the music comes on,
my hips don't lie and before I know it, I'm up and dancing as if I'm choreographing my own music video. Then I start to watch the sneezing panda, talking dogs, and other
random funny videos that make me
pee my pants. I finally close the tab and get back to work. After about 30 minutes, I start to get
bored, so I decide to take a break. I go downstairs, drink some orange juice, make some food (
FISHSTICKS<3), watch some Bad Girls Club, a few funny commercials, then get back to work. By now, it's
9:05 and I start to
panic. I
cry a little bit, thinking about
giving up and taking the zero. My mom starts to get on my case about
absolutely everything and in my mind, I think about
all the bad things I wish would happen to her at that moment in time. Finally, I kick my ass into
acceleration and start to speed through everything I had to review (
Retaining a little information here, skimming a little information there) until I finally finish an hour later. By this point, I'll feel like I've accomplished something big, like the
cure for autism or something of the sort and happily skip into my room and crawl under my covers and dream of a world without tests and exams
[insert sigh of happiness here].
Hope you've learned something about your study habits or if you've learned something from my own. But at the end of the day,
what does it matter? The
day of the test you forget everything on the study guide.
~
