College Prep: The Crash Course part one

Everything you've been doing in the past four years of your life have led up to the big C word: Cupcake. Just kidding, although if I was working four years of my life to receive cupcakes, it better be a lifetime supply.

I'm talking about COLLEGE. Most people our age twenty or thirty years ago never even went to college because it was not in the cards for them. You have been allotted a very special opportunity and mustn't let it go to waste. As usual, I've come to your rescue to aid you in navigating the rough waters and terrain ahead as you prepare to start the next chapter of your life. Can you believe I'm this nice?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to College Prep for the average procrastinator. Naturally, you have been bombarded from all sides by teachers, classmates, university representatives, sports recruiters, your parents, and even random strangers about where you are going to school and what you are planning on majoring in. I'll leave the segment about majors for Part Two, but for the aforementioned, I can most certainly be of service.

So what things should you even consider when deciding where to go to college? Well, one should start by considering the following questions:

1. How far away would I like to be from home?

2. Do I like big cities or small towns?

3. Will I be comfortable around thousands upon thousands of strangers, many who will possibly be showing up to class in their pajamas?

4. Does the school offer majors that I am interested in?

5. Would I like to go to public or private school?

These are just basic questions, not even covering things like Greek life, ,sports, extracurricular, and the overall student body. 

Here are some questions NOT to consider when making your college decision:

1. Are there cute boys/girls?
--- "Cute" is subjective, but unless you choose a single gender university, GIRLS and BOYS are everywhere, so silly question, move on.

2. Will there be food?
--- Again, a silly question. I guarantee the school does not want a lawsuit on their hands from when you die of malnutrition and/or starvation. Plus, people follow food, so OF COURSE, there will be food. Now, whether or not it is GOOD food is a different story

3. Are my [insert boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend/dog] going there?
---PLEASE do not make a college decision based off of someone else! Last time I checked, when you receive a diploma, it only has ONE name on it, meaning, it's that one name's decision on where to go to school and to pick a place that is right for them.  For example, just because your boyfriend loves football, it doesn't mean you'll personally enjoy being in the student section of a football game with millions of crazy, screaming, and occasionally drunk sports fans. Also, as a side note, you need to consider that people change when they get to college. Your relationship or friendship may be all sunshine and rainbows now, but six months away from home in a new environment is enough to destroy any relationship, especially one that was shaky to begin with.

4. What about the parties/social life?
---I won't lie, this was one of my questions when I was looking into colleges. Yes, your social life is important. No one wants to go off to college and be bored. I can do that for free at home. However, I know I am going to sound like a parent when I say this, but school comes first. The parties will happen when they happen, you'll be in college, where someone, somewhere, parties. Just focus on working hard, so you can play harder.

You're going to ask yourself a million questions and do hours upon hours of research, but ultimately its up to you and you alone. You also must be prepared to accept the harsh realities of either not being accepted to your first choice school or not being able to afford it, but regardless of the circumstances, make wherever it is you go, your home. 

Pristine 2015: Back from a Hiatus

    I am not going to sit here and apologize for not posting in God knows how long because, to be frank, life happens. I do, however, apologize for not sharing my experiences with you as they happened because, BOY, has a lot happened since the last time I've posted.

   I would like to start out by saying, as belated as ever, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know, it's February, like, super late February, but better late than never, right?

  Since my last appearance, I have graduated little ole high school and have gone off to college and the microcosm of the real world. Safe to say that I'm doing big girl things now, not quite womanly things because I do not pay the following: phone bill, hair salon bill, car bill, college bill. So for now, I'm just an overgrown kid.

   For my own personal growth, I've dubbed this year The Year of Success. I know, it's incredibly cliche, however, I feel like success in itself, even by definition, can be applied to countless areas of life, whether it be an academic, spiritual, or physical/bodily goal.

  I have some amazing material prepared for you guys and I wish I could post it all into one GIANT blog entry, but then A) You would all hate me and B) It would basically be a  300 page novel.

So gear up, Honestly? Subscribers, because I am back and wittier than ever.

to anyone who's wondering what I've been up to, part two

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!
Hello my loyal readers, I'm sososososososososo sorry (I honestly couldn't apologize enough) for going missing in action. I've been so inconceivably busy, you simply could not understand. On average, I probably have been getting three or four hours of sleep a WEEK. Anyone who knows me, however, would tell you that I function like I've slept like a BABY......(those who don't know me, but know my story, they would tell you I'm on hard drugs...sigh, I wish I was).

     Anyway, believe it or not, my life has changed SOOOOOOO much since the last time I've posted on here. I usually choose to be discreet when it comes to certain things, but in these next few posts, I'm prepared to lay everything out on the table. I've kept things to myself for way too long and personally feel like my blog is a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I don't necessarily care if people read it because I know I'm not the only person out there who finds themselves in situations like this.

And so the stories begin:

    I cannot remember a time in my life where I wasn't dieting. 

Scratch that, I remember the years between third and fifth grade when I was on some serious ish.

Pushing 789604 pounds, looking like a walking mini fridge fully stocked.

That could float in swimming pools and wore whatever clothes fit.

............................................................

Why does that sound alot like me now?

        

       Anyway, I'm normally a good dieter. I work out 3-4 times a week, eat plenty of fruits and veggies, log all my food in a journal, etc etc. Lately, however, I've been seriously procrasinating. With a goal that seems far near impossible, I contemplate why dieting is so hard. I wish that no matter what I ate, it would have some sort of slimming effect. Brownies, for example, why can't I have you? It's like the forbidden fruit, chocolatey and all. No one will ever understand the ache I experience in my chest every time I drive past a McDonald's and can't go to the drive thru and order a McChicken with medium fries and a Mocha McFrappe. I just have to keep my eyes on the road and imagine how happy I'll be after I lose X amount of weight. Trust me, thoughts of me eating fries drenched in ketchup try to overrun my skinny mini dreams, BUT, I push myself.

    Being the cupcake I naturally am, I despise exercise. Just the thought of sweating and bruising and soreness deters me from even getting out of bed at 9 in the morning. Some people say "Oh, I love working out, it makes me feel so good. It gives me a high I've never experienced" blah, blah, BLAH. No, not me. Working out makes me feel closer to death than type 2 diabetes would EVER make me feel and the only high I wish I was feeling was hard drugs like, crack, rather than being on an elliptical. I know there are other ways to work out and burn calories, but the old fashioned way seems to be the only regimen that truly produces results. I did the Insanity DVDs....for two days. They were the hardest workouts I ever put my poor body through and my body made sure to avenge itself from my torture by being sore for the next few weeks. I just can't win when it comes to working out. I don't care what anyone says, it's never about physical strength; it's all about your mental state. I know when things are going downhill and that I'll never make it through a workout once I start hallucinating. All of a sudden, the girl doing crutches on screen turns into a brownie with powered sugar on top. Then I pause the DVD and do my best high knees into the kitchen and into the snack cabinet.

     Eating healthy doesn't even SOUND fun. There is nothing fun about lettuce. I've never heard someone say "Oh yeah, I throwing a party, who's bringing the lettuce?!" No, lettuce is the ugly stepsister who never has her happy ending. When dieting, I opt for the Mean Green Smoothies, which consist of spinach, kale, and any fruits that will mask the taste of the kale (spinach is tasteless). It usually works out for a couple of weeks, until I start running out of ideas or spinach. There's only so many Mean Banana Bean Green Smoothies you can take until you're reaching for the Jimmy Dean's Sausage Biscuits in the freezer. I only have a few weeks left until school starts and my mother has made it obvious that she isn't buying new uniforms if the ones I already have don't fit. On that note, the sad cupcake girl chronicles continue. If anyone would like to donate to the Desh-too-tight-uniform foundation, be my guest.

to anyone who's wondering what I've been up to, part one

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!
Hello my loyal readers, I'm sososososososososo sorry (I honestly couldn't apologize enough) for going missing in action. I've been so inconceivably busy, you simply could not understand. On average, I probably have been getting three or four hours of sleep a WEEK. Anyone who knows me, however, would tell you that I function like I've slept like a BABY......(those who don't know me, but know my story, they would tell you I'm on hard drugs...sigh, I wish I was).

     Anyway, believe it or not, my life has changed SOOOOOOO much since the last time I've posted on here. I usually choose to be discreet when it comes to certain things, but in these next few posts, I'm prepared to lay everything out on the table. I've kept things to myself for way too long and personally feel like my blog is a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I don't necessarily care if people read it because I know I'm not the only person out there who finds themselves in situations like this.

And so the stories begin:

     It all starts with my friends. Sure, I don't know where I'd be without them, but DAMN, girls can be CAT TEE. I'm not a naturally "mean girl", but, I don't pop off for any random reason. All my rage is normally directed by fact and not fiction. To anyone who knows the story I'm about to tell, feel free to insert personal information in your heads, but to those who don't, let's just call these two girls Jane and Kathy. Jane WAS (emphasis on WAS) my best friend, like a sister to me. If you asked me two months ago if we would ever stop being best friends, I would've told you to have a seat...on a cactus. Now that everything has happened, I regret absolutely nothing because if God didn't want things to happen the way they did, He would have given me some sort of sign, BUT, things went south quickly. See, Jane had a major jealousy problem. She only wanted me to be friends with her and only her. If I even GREETED someone else, she felt threatened. I will never understand why, because it was always clear where my loyalties were, but maybe I never made myself clear. Jealousy was honestly the root of the problem. I had just recently begun to become friends with Kathy, who was a year older and a true bad ass. Contrary to popular belief, she has a heart of gold and is truly one of my best friends. Sure, she had her shortcomings, but nobody's perfect and those who claim to be are far from it. Jane and Kathy automatically took a disliking to one another, which initially never made me think twice. I simply understood that everyone's not going to like each other, but I was not going to stop being friends with either of them, so I gave them both identical advice: "Get the hell over it." Anyone with a level head on their shoulders would see the situation like this: It was February, Kathy graduated in May, that was THREE FREAKING MONTHS. Whatever issue Jane had with her, could have been squashed and pushed under the rug, until then. BUT OF COURSE, my life is never that damn easy. Jane went on and on and on and on about how much she hated Kathy and how she was above her, she is high class, of high caliber, about how Kathy amounted to nothing, was white trash, was worthless, etc etc, and may I point out, alot of this Shadow Thuggin' happened IN PUBLIC around people who KNEW Kathy, and would not hesitate to tell her. I, fortunately, was never around for this defamation of character. I conveniently always managed to be absent when the shadow thuggin went down. It wasn't until things started to be said about me, that I decided I should take a second look at the situation. Now I KNOW, this TRICK wasn't sitting there talking about ME? At the time, I was honestly the ONLY PERSON who gave a damn about whether she even woke up in the morning and never said anything as bad as she was saying about me (I refuse to repeat what was said because it is just ridiculous to pass on). I thought, well, let me just wait and I'll see how this all plays out because at this point, there's really nothing I could do. I know it's wrong to say, but I was almost looking FORWARD to seeing Jane get her ass handed to her, but in the back of my mind, I really hoped that what was said was A) not true and B) never passed on.

    Armageddon happened in late March. Kathy had agreed with me that she would stop "terrorizing" Jane for the rest of the year. That was on a Tuesday and was honestly one of the happiest days of the year. The next to days were like heaven on Earth. Every single one of us laughing excessively, being loud and obnoxious, and sharing food as if we sincerely loved each other and had a Sisterhood of the Traveling cafeteria Cookie going on. Unfortunately, that same week, Thursday, proved to be the end of a thing that was way too good to be true. We were sitting at lunch like the freaking Winx Club when my sister came over and asked me for a dollar. I told her if Bandz a Make Her Dance, she can have that dollar to buy a Pop Tart. As everyone giggled and I egged my sister on, all I heard behind me was yelling. When I looked back, Jane and Kathy are going neck and neck about whatever it was that just happened in the five seconds that I had my back turned. Apparently, (I am now reporting what was told to me) Jane had to Kathy to shut the hell up because Kathy had said something that offended Jane. Whatever, not my problem. WRONG.

    Next thing I know, everyone's suddenly taking sides in this unofficial war of the vaginas. I was unsure about that what was actually happening so I decided to take a mental health day from school the next day (Mental Health Day= eat.sleep.repeat) When I awoke from the first cycle of mental health day, I unsuspecting checked Twitter, where I was shocked to find Kathy bluntly calling Jane out of her name and swearing up and down that she was going to kill her. Well, what a great way to start my morning. Minutes later, I am bombarded by texts from Kathy telling me to tell her everything Jane said about her because she already knew. Dammit, I was now in a predicament for the history books. It then dawned on me, hitting me like a ton of bricks; this was not my problem, nor was it ever mine to begin with, it was Jane's. Jane had been putting a strain on every one of my friendships for the past few months, making me fight her battles against some of my closest friends and taking advantage of my loyalty because she knew I would never turn my back on her. On that day, that loyalty was finally broken. I didn't need someone causing all types of misery and mess in my life. I consciously decided that I no longer wanted to be her friend. I felt a sort of hatred most people would only feel for their arch enemy. In those few moments, Jane suddenly made the list. When she contacted me that night, I was still on a bloodthirsty high. I wanted nothing but to see her suffer. At the time, I did still hold on to some imaginary strand that was keeping our friendship together and relevant. When I answered the phone, however, all of that went down the drain when she suddenly began accusing me of this, that, and the third. Home girl is SO lucky this was on the phone and not in person, because it would have been kill first, ask questions later. She denied ever saying anything about me or Kathy and said everyone was lying and they were jealous, etc etc, placing the blame wherever she felt it needed to be. I clearly told her that I was no longer fighting in her corner and that she was on her own indefinitely because I just couldn't stand being lied to.

   When I look back at things today, if she just owned up to her shortcomings instead of redirecting the blame and denying everything, we would never be where we are today. I'm not heartless; if she apologized for what she said, we would have worked on it and gotten through it, things happen. But NOOOOO, bitches stay basic and to this day, she'll still deny it. I mean, yeah I lost a best friend, but I gained something a lot more valuable: Knowledge. I was able to look beyond my feelings and look at the facts at hand. Period point blank, I don't do misery, and everything about Jane screams it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't make the decisions I had to make. I regret absolutely nothing about everything that happened and I pretty much put it in the past. As I mature, I've learned to not hold onto grudges like I have in the past and to not let my anger control my life. I forgive, but never forget, and could never return to the past. Fortunately, I do look forward to my future with the friends I've managed to keep and those who've shown me that they're down with me one hundred and ten percent, just as I am for them.

2012 Wrap Up pt.1

"Sometimes, I go on a rant and I write things when the emotions are the most raw and prevalent. I find these times to be the most insightful because they give you a glimpse at someone else's psyche. It proves to you that they are just like you, even though you've already made up your mind of who this person was." -Anonymous

I'm going to start off by being completely blunt:
        This year proved to me that those that I called my best friends, are or can be, unfortunately and predictably, my closest enemies. Friendship is a two way street and as long as one feels animosity towards the other, the bridge burns. The problem is that people expect so much from friendship; people come and go, you just have to keep moving forward without ever looking back at the ashes you once cherished. I'm not going to say "oh next year's going to be different. NEW YEAR, NEW ME", because it's bull. I'm not going to change, I'm just going to make changes. No more TRYING to keep friendships alive. If you want me around, you need to make the same effort I am. If it's not working, it's not working. Things go bad and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm not going to keep up appearances for anyone I feel isn't worth my time. I hate to say it, but when I done with you, you're out. There's no such thing as second chances with me. It's either you're with me, or you're without me; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. A new year to me means spring clean up of my social interactions.

2012 Wrap Up pt.2

So let's get real: I didn't do ANY of what I said I was going to do this year.

• "I'm going to be nicer." Fought more hoes than I did last year. But hell, don't shake, unless you're ready to get shook.
• "I'm going to work out and really make a difference. I'd like to be one step closer to my goal." I mean, does walking PAST my treadmill count? Also, I am one step closer.........to type 2 diabetes. I've tried, but McDonald's just keeps reeling me in, that's my main, can't help it.
• "I'm going to be a panda."........................okay, Science hasn't exactly taken the necessary steps I had hoped they would have taken by now for me to achieve my dream, but eventually, they will...and I'll be waiting.

        But seriously, 2012 was one of the craziest years I've ever experienced. It was definitely the year of Love and War, because it was either friendship and good times, or boxing gloves on like Donkey Kong. Yes, I did find what some would consider love, but it wasn't the love I had hoped for, BUT I'm young and I have many, countless years ahead of me, if God permits.
       
        I can also say that I've continued to persevere through everything I've had to deal with this year. I accomplished some things that I would never have attempted if not for my confidence. Hell, so what if I didn't get rich quick or become a panda or a cupcake or.........okay, note to self: serious body dysmorphic disorder. Yay. But this year was the start of something new. A fire within me (no, not the McDonald's) has been sparked and I'm going to ride out the fire for as long as it burns within me, which I hope is forever. I mean, I don't want to work hard and be passionate about my dreams and such, then one day, eh, I'm going back to bed, does McDonald's deliver?

Well, this isn't very long, because most of what went down this year I feel shouldn't be included in a blog post. One day when I'm in Congress, I wouldn't want this to haunt me now, would I? Except the panda part, I want them to know where I stand, what my values are.

Someone like You

I'm aware that it's been awhile, but we've only become more distant. Your hugs are no longer accompanied with their usual warmth. Your kisses leave me wondering and your eyes are empty. My heart doesn't skip when I see you. I cannot stress enough the fact that though I'm not an emotional person, I still seek security with those I love. Yet, you seem only interested in worldly things. We can no longer keep conversation like we used to, from all night to less than an hour. You ask me the same things over:

"Can't you see that you're hurting me, why don't you love me, why don't you care, did I mean nothing to you...no, there's someone else, there's some else isn't there? I knew you were using me, I knew you didn't care....."

No, there isn't someone else, but I wish there was. Someone who wouldn't question how I feel. Someone to love me and hold me and nothing more. Someone who would call just to hear my voice or ask about my day. To protect me when in harm and to comfort me when in sadness. Someone who thought of love as a spiritual thing rather than a concept. Someone who wants me for me, and nothing more. To make me laugh and not cry, to never question my motives and ask why. I'm confused as to what exactly it is I do that would imply that I'm over you and found someone else. Yes, there are others, but I haven't even given them a second thought or a chance, because of my constant reminder of you.

But if you're going to act this way, then go on ahead. Be cold and aloof. Be immature and hurtful. Do as you wish and keep thinking I'll sit around and wait until you change. I'll look for someone new. Someone to not only have love for me, but to say that they're in love with me.

Someone like the old you.

To girls like me,

        I know I'm not perfect, no matter how bad I wish that were true. I am, however, weird and happy to accept that. I strive everyday in hopes that God will award my good deeds with Panda immortality, eat brownie batter when the package SPECIFICALLY says DO NOT EAT RAW BATTER *B.A.M.F. , and I live like I'll die tomorrow...or the next day.....or the next day.

      But on a serious note, I'm not the 'sentimental' type. I don't do romantic gestures like flowers and candy and basically Valentine's Day. I don't enjoy chick flicks that aim to 'touch your soul' and make you cry like a baby. I don't even cry often, which is why when I do cry, it's usually something serious. I honestly don't even really enjoy relationships, because they are time consuming and hurt too much. I'm much more of the practical type. If you love me, tell me. Don't only express how you feel on holidays, do it everyday. It's the little things in the end that count. I'd much rather have you help me reach for the brownie batter I'm not supposed to eat rather than go out on an expensive dinner date.


       I also don't care for drama nor do I go looking for it. People lately have been so thirsty, just biting at my ankles and taking every word I say and twisting it into a lie. Everyone around me has managed to piss me off in some sort of way and, quite frankly, I'd like each and every one of you to know, and you know who you are, that I hate you for it. I just want to be left alone....The year has barely begun and I've probably had a year's worth of drama. It's just that I don't care for anyone. Not enough to talk about you; more specifically, not enough to care. Everything and everyone lately, is an IRRELEVANT.

     Sigh, I know I'm not the only person who feels this way lately. I wish I could just escape for awhile. Go someplace far away, in the middle of nowhere. No people, no drama, no responsibilities, just a nice long nap and a glass of renewal.

         Signed,
              Sorry I haven't been around much

First Day of School: from a view of absolute arrogance

    I cannot fathom how amazed I am that I'm already a junior. It was like just yesterday, I was a freshman, roaming the halls, in fear of who'd I sit with at lunch, if anyone would like me, if I'd just hate everyone, and whether or not I had enough money to buy lunch in the cafeteria. #fatkidforlife Now, as I briskly walk the halls of my school; now my second home almost. But don't get me confused with a student that loves school. Oh no, I absolutely HATE waking up early. And getting ready for school. And driving to school. Then being IN school.


    As I mentioned earlier, I got my license, meaning that I now, along with student, I had a new job title: Keronhica's chauffeur. Since she doesn't HAVE her license, it's my duty to make sure we both travel safely and efficiently to and from school in the TWO HOURS it takes. When I say travel, I'd like you to put yourself in my mindset. 5:45am in the morning, crusin' down the street, on you're way to school, when suddenly, major depression strikes.....why, you might ask? Well, because when you look to your right, you see a McDonald's and realize you have no money. I know, heartbreaking, isn't it?

   I also have a terrible, terrible, freaking sucky parking spot: the dirt lot. I mean, I'm happy I get to park on campus, but I'm debating just HOW happy I actually am, because my parking spot's so stupid, I just really want to give my sticker back. Buuuuuuuuuuut, I wanna be that cool junior who parks on campus, regardless of location and the fact that it's literally a mini hike to my homeroom every damn day. Even if it is in complete mud and whenever it rains that mud turns into quicksand, no big deal. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I have to park backwards in order to get out of the dirt lot after school. Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds.
  
 On the bright side, I have good classes. I'm like, in love with my psychology and English classes. I have phenomenal teachers and good people in said classes. My history class will obviously be my easiest class, although I'll actually have to work and study this year. Marine biology is pretty easy, as well, although I doubt it will stay that way. I also have an outside reading assignment called The Hungry Ocean. I personally thought it would be about food in some way, shape, or form; but NO, it's about STUPID sword fishing. I hate the ocean. And books ABOUT the ocean. I'd just really like to swim with manatees (SEA COWS MOOOO) Then there's religion, otherwise known as Church history, which just recently underwent a change in curriculum, and just got a hell of a lot harder, but I'll manage.

    By now you see I left out a class. That god forsaken class is Pre-Calculus. Also known as hell on Earth, it is designed with the torment and oppression of students, such as myself, in mind. Flashback, I took FOUR WEEKS of geometry, FLASH FORWARD, pre-calculus is all about geometry and I don't have a solid enough basis to move forward. I'm in a regulars class, but I definitely don't feel like it. I FEEL as though everyone gets it except me. Fortunately, I've come to accept the fact that you cannot be good at everything and that it's okay to fail. Just, someone please explain that to my mom and whatever universities I'll later be applying to.

    But other than that, I'm assuming as of right now, that I'll have a pretty damn good year. I mean, every year holds something new in store, whether that be new friends, new classes, new love, or new enemies; it's all brand new. I can't wait to see what the universe has in store for me (hopefully its plans include a 2006 Land cruiser). My advice to everyone else? It's our junior year, try not to screw it up.

Summer '12: The Unevitable End

"It's the end of the summer. It's the end of it all. Those days are gone, it's over now, we're moving on."

        
        So it's finally over. The summer of our lives, the time to make something  of ourselves, the chance to create memories of a lifetime. I'm honestly dreading the end. We all know everything comes to an end but I didn't think I would have enjoyed my summer the way I have. Giving you all a glimpse into my personal life, a special friend of mine who stuck it out with me this entire summer has made an impact on my life that I will never forget you. You showed me that everyone deserves a second chance at love and that only the few who matter will be remembered. I hate to admit that we'll probably never see one another again, but if fate allows, we'll meet again someday in the future.
Anyway, enough of me being sentimental. Back to the summer of dreams blah blah blah, I got my license (BEEP BEEP) :) and I'm so happy, yet my dreams were crushed because my dad decided that ONE Mercedes wasn't enough and he had to have TWO, so my Mercedes dreams are out the window, leaving me with my '96 Land cruiser, but it's alright 'cause I'm just gonna pretend I'm in the Benz whenever I drive around.

       And HONESTLY, I'd like to protest for 2 more weeks of vacation before hell school starts. I don't feel as though I've accomplished any of what I wanted to this summer. I had goals and expectations and I wanted to check them all off the ol' bucket list, some of which includes breaking the world record for the longest nap. I'd also like to try PHYSICALLY becoming a panda.........make that 3 more weeks.

Summer '12: The Beginning

“Summer is kind of like the ultimate one-night stand: hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it.”

    

2012.
A year of...well, nothing really. Nothing major has really happened this year, but let's hope that Summer 2012 is 'that time of the year'. My summer was SUPPOSED TO consist of beach days, 22 hour naps, panda band, reckless driving, and partying so hard that I forgot what I did that night AND the night before. BUT OF COURSE, we can't have everything right? To be specific, I can't have anything. I'll be in summer school until June 29th in hell oblivion Geometry. I hate math, but I made the conscious decision for my future college career that I need to get to Calculus; but in order to get from A-Z, you've got to survive the LMNOP. Thus, me spending eight hours for four weeks, learning about perpendicular lines, polygons, and shapes that don't exist yet I'm supposed to assume for the sake of this class, that they do in SOME universe out there that I, quite frankly, DON'T care about. But whatever, since I'm on week two already, I guess I'll survive.

   But as soon as summer school ends, I've got a license, a car, and a wallet full of cash.
   .....Let's get wasty pants.

Exam pt.3

Honestly, I've never been so anxious about studying about exams. Like, it's not like I don't know the information...(I don't) but it's like, preparing & trying to cram all these different subjects into my mind at once is killing my psyche. It's like every one of my teachers think their class is the ONLY class I've been taking all semester.





Religion- I love God, let's get that straight. Jesus is my Messiah and Savior, along with being the Big Man's only Son. I got that. The Holy Spirit did its thang and came down on the 12 Apostles on Pentecost. Crystal clear. Honestly, I feel like that's all I need to know for this exam and I'll be pretty prepared. Well, along with my natural intellect. But seriously, I never knew there was so much depth to the Bible, enough that I a) have to take a class, b) have a full on study guide, and c) have a final exam. WHY? And as if vocabulary (the school's sick idea of fusing classes together) wasn't enough, we have to be able to identify Bible passages, their writers, and their genres. If I don't study Since I won't study, I'm gonna hope God'll help me wiji board the exam.

English- This has been one of my favorite classes all year.....until testing time. I hate every test in this class (not the class, just these stupid, impossible tests). Like, the detail these questions ask seem like they were picked out by English scholars FOR English scholars, NOT high schoolers. Such as "What does the color of the curtain in chapter 14 symbolize?" "THE BOOK HAD MORE THAN 3 CHAPTERS?!" I mean, I get that because it's an HONORS class, they expect us to be able to answer  these questions...shit, half the kids IN honors have been riding the cheating wagon all the way to the finish line since middle school, so lower these supposed 'expectations'. The hardest part, hands down, will be poetry. We studied it for two weeks, yet it'll be two thirds of our exam. Super. Give us an hours and fourty-five minutes to analyze poems about GOD KNOWS WHAT with references to historical events and animals and the zombie apocalypse and such. But it's fine, it's not like I WANTED to stay in honors or anything, no biggie.

Exams pt. 2

Honestly, I've never been so anxious about studying about exams. Like, it's not like I don't know the information...(I don't) but it's like, preparing & trying to cram all these different subjects into my mind at once is killing my psyche. It's like every one of my teachers think their class is the ONLY class I've been taking all semester.




World History- Consider your ass OWNed. I've got this one in the bag. It's like all the bull I've put up with this year has finally paid off to this very exam. All the different time eras, the countries, the monarchs, the empires, and other useless information I've memorized all year will come to good use. My only complaint: HIS DAMN PACKET. I absolutely hate packets with a burning passion; and it's not like I'm talking about a little 2 page front&back..NO, I'm talking the Big Momma of Packets. Seriously, I'd rather attempt to drink gasoline than fill out this twelve page packet. On top of that, you expect for it all to be on the final exam. Like, daaaaamnnnnm, cut me some slack; we all know I'm getting an A regardless...besides, I've got other things to do with my life....like blogging, eating, and sleeping.

Spanish- I honestly need to take a step back and help you visualize how much I HATE this class. Honestly, this is stupidity in one of its ugliest forms. I'm considerable good at Spanish and take pride in it, up until my teacher decides that no one is allowed to have an A in her class. ANOTHER DAMN EXAM PACKET. I swear, this whole death by asphyxiation doesn't sound too bad when you present me with this FIFTEEN PAGE PACKET. Actually it sounds pretty fucking sweet. At least I can chill in Heaven; yup, where God doesn't give packets. But like, I've got the same problem that almost every language student has: the different tenses. But hell, I'll get over it, it'll be semi-easy, and I only need a 36% to pass. Lawlz.

EXAMS pt.1

Honestly, I've never been so anxious about studying about exams. Like, it's not like I don't know the information...(I don't) but it's like, preparing & trying to cram all these different subjects into my mind at once is killing my psyche. It's like every one of my teachers think their class is the ONLY class I've been taking all semester.

Math- BELIEVE IT OR NOT, this'll probably be my easiest exam. At the very beginning of the semester, I was borderline failing, like, I honestly thought this was the end for me. I was bound to repeat the class. The funny thing is, I sat in the dead back row, with three of the most talkative people in my class, so it wasn't like I was taking notes. But next quarter when she moved me to the very front row, it was like the VIP world of algebra had opened its gates to me. All of a sudden, it was like second nature to do all these equations, and I have to admit, I began to see myself as being above the rest; I mean, I'm in the top half of the class, I'm allowed to be snobby.

Chemistry- I'm NOT passing this exam, I'll tell you this right now. If I do, it'll be because a) I found a way to cheat or b) the school sets on fire and all is lost, meaning she has to give me an automatic A. But of course, neither will happen, so I've trying to get my mind wrapped around the idea of failing the exam, that way, it's one less exam to stress about. Like, I'm sorry, but I don't see the significance of the pH scale, stoichiometry, or molarity. I''m gonna be a LAWYER, for Christ's sake.

Fear no man, Trust no bitch ~

You know? You'd think you'd know someone after years and years? But quite frankly, this isn't necessarily so. Everyone's going to lie to you, cheat on you, spit in your face, and disappoint you; but you have learn to roll with the punches. I've learned this from first hand experience. The first time I was ever truly back stabbed was the 5th grade, by a group of girls I used to be in some sort of "clique" with. Sure, the problems at hand were petty, but at the time, they hurt me to the core and made me realize that everything in the world isn't fucking rainbows and sunshine. There isn't always a rainbow after a rainstorm, there's just rain and fog.

As I got older, the backstabbing continued, and as I got older, the problems got more adult, even if the people they involved remained childish. People have said mean things behind my back. Though I'm no one to talk, I know what it feels like to be bullied, and it SUCKS. You couldn't imagine the type of things I've said and have had said to me. Some of my closest friends turned out to be the worst offenders, often having skeletons of backstabbing in their closets that were directly of me. I didn't trust anyone back then and still don't trust people 100% now.
I really wish I could, because things would be 100 times easier and fighting would happen less often. Because though I have a tough exterior, it's not like I LIKE to fight, it's just that motherfuckers keep asking for it. The bottom line, I don't really care as much as I used to. I wish I did, but unfortunately, I don't. I mean, I have some great people in my life, but I'm trying to keep from making the same mistakes and letting the wrong people in. Sadly, in the game of life, everyone's a suspect.

---Signed half heartily, Me

Juniors, ALREADY?!

        

In a week and a half, Soph year will officially end. This year has been freakin' crazy. Like, honestly, if you asked me if shit would go down the way it did this year last summer, I'd laugh in your face. Everyone and everything has changed so much. I've basically fought with every single person I could fight with this year. Some fights were fair, others I was at advantage, but never disadvantaged bitch, I'm not about that life. Lol. But SERIOUSLY; I can't even begin to reminisce on how much backstabbing has gone down from both aspects: from the outside looking in and in my inner circles. But I'm glad to have the friends I do that have stuck by me regardless of my crazy, sometimes questionable behavior. I started this year with a "who gives a shit?" attitude, and that's exactly how I ended it. But don't get me wrong, it's not like I started with 3853727 friends and ended with 0. No, I've just narrowed it down to a small inner circle that I know I can trust, as far as I'm concerned. Some people didn't particularly like the way I've presented myself this year and quite frankly, you can kiss my black ass. :* I really don't care what anyone thinks. If I wanna parade around all day with a Snooki poof and horrid bright blue eye shadow, guess what? Imma throw some red lipstick on that bitch as finishing touches. I mean, this year has just been so much fun. Freshman year, when I was terrified to even walk the halls, I would've never thought that I'd been singing and dancing and screaming and yelling and just acting a damn fool to my classes, even some times by my damn self. I've laughed so much this year, I swear I have permanent grin lines. #earlywrinkles. ahaha. Unfortunately, still no updates on the love life when it comes to in school, 'cause most of the guys suck, once again. But outside of school, I'm working on it ;) if it becomes anything serious, I'll update you guys, but for now, it's on the DL. Other than that, I'm currently in panic mode because next week is EXAM WEEK. (I'll do a story on that when it comes around) But on a serious note, just like around this time of the year last year, I can't say I'm ready for what'll happen next year, because every year holds something new, something exciting. I can say that whatever it is, I'm ready for it 125%. But what they say about high school is true; "Blink of an eye, the years fly by."

Facebook 101 Part 3

Welcome to the fabulous world of social networking! Now that you've singed up for Facebook and got you profile set up, it's time to add your friends and hopefully meet some new ones. I know, all the excitement, it's hard to contain. Everything is so fresh and new. But you need to be careful, too. Because everybody has a Facebook personality. So here's my guide to you, on which Facebookers to avoid.

The Ghost

This is the person you may have added 6 months ago and are now starting to worry is dead. They have a Facebook, but they're never online. They may log on every 8 months just to change their profile picture, comment on a thing or two, and log off. In that period of time, you feel like you have to get whatever ti is you need to say to that person on their wall or in their inbox ASAP before the little fuck logs off. Sometimes, they even log off mid-chat. Like, seriously, bitch? Don't fucking chat me if you're gonna log off whil I'm trying to tell you about my dying armadillo. Just tell me you're not interested (I don't know why you wouldn't be).

But seriously, this person has the same profile picture for two years of them and their grandma, who probably died in the midst of that two years so please update it. Also, don't log on after 8 months and comment on something I said 8 months ago.

Hannah posted on George's wall: "Hey George I had fun hanging out last week, we should go fishing again." (From May 12, 2011)
George commented on Hannah's post: "yeah me too." (January 3, 2012)
Hannah commented on her own post: "I hate you." (January 3, 2012)

If it is this extreme, screw them. I don't wanna be Facebook friends with Casper the friendly ghost.

Facebook 101 Part 2

Welcome to the fabulous world of social networking! Now that you've singed up for Facebook and got you profile set up, it's time to add your friends and hopefully meet some new ones. I know, all the excitement, it's hard to contain. Everything is so fresh and new. But you need to be careful, too. Because everybody has a Facebook personality. So here's my guide to you, on which Facebookers to avoid.

The Photo Hoe

Now, this girl may be some random from school or your best friend; doesn't matter. You need to either tell this bitch to stop or block all her posts. This Facebooker is the one girl who:

-Uploads a new picture everyday
-Changes her profile picture 12 times in one day
-Has 27394 photo albums with 38572 pictures each
-Tags the world in her photos so they're forced to comment
- Extreme Photoshopper (A Cup in real life, D Cup on Facebook)

And the worst offense: ASKING people to like her pictures. (in some cases, begging)

She may be a pretty girl, hooray. But in most cases, she's a wannabe hoe who seeks valedation by the number in front to the little thumbs up on Facebook. And it maybe the same pose (duck face :* ), or the same place (her bedroom, her bathroom, her cat's litter box). She may wear shorts that show her pubic hairs or the pictures of her and her friend at the beach in their bikinis (yay, we drove for 4 hours to get to the beach just so we can get some likes). The girls who take pictures of themselves with a camera, PISS OFF. I don't know what exactly is the explaination for why some girls do this, other than the fact that it's a sickness, a disease: I-have-a-high-tech-camera-so-now-I-think-I'm-a-photographer-and-model syndrome. Eh, my advice to you, if it doesn't bother you, let the bitch be. But if it does, block her posts NOoOoW.

Facebook 101 Part 1

Welcome to the fabulous world of social networking! Now that you've singed up for Facebook and got you profile set up, it's time to add your friends and hopefully meet some new ones. I know, all the excitement, it's hard to contain. Everything is so fresh and new. But you need to be careful, too. Because everybody has a Facebook personality. So here's my guide to you, on which Facebookers to avoid.

The Stranger

Of course, I have to start off with the obvious red flag. You log on and find a friend request from Barney Ray Charleston and you only have 2 mutual friends. You've never met in real life. Yet, you only need 1 more friend to get from 199 to 200 friends on Facebook.




So you add Barney. 3 seconds later, you get a message:

Barney Ray: Heey sexy;) where do you live?
...Barney is typing.....
Barney Ray: wanna skype?

And soon you get 1 notification...that turns into 6.....that turns into 60.
 Barney Ray commented on your photo: "I wanna feel your insides."
Barney Ray commented on your photo: "You make me happy."
Barney Ray posted on your wall: "I love you"

Yeah, I'm sorry, I know how much you need the numbers, but you need to block and delete ASAP. It's funny to tell your friends about, but you need to delete this person before they eventually find you. I mean, I'm not saying they could, but I'm just point out the possibility. I know for a fact that I don't wanna be a dismembered body in the dumpster in the back of some weirdo's apartment. But seriously, if something like this is happening, please delete them. And block them. And if you really feel unsafe, report them. Mark Zuckerberg'll handle it lyke a B0$$.

How to truly celebrate Valentine's Day

Ah,hate love. It can make you do crazy and stupid things. Like scale a building. Or pick up a car. Or fly halfway across the country just to say "I love you", shoot, it can even make you take a bullet for the one you love (pun intended). But let's be real here. Nowadays, love isn't like this. But Valentine's Day plays it out this way. Valentine's Day can only be defined one way and one way only: A fat baby with arrows goes around shooting people in the ass so that they'll give their significant other candy and flowers and cards and jewelry and such. I mean, there's nothing wrong with gifts, but shouldn't you show the one you love that you care all 365 days of the year? (366 for a leap year, just sayin').

For Valentine's Day this year, I found myself single again, for the second year in a row. So what do I do? Ahead of time, kiss everyone of my friends asses in hopes that one of them will look deep into their hearts and buy me things. And as much as I love my friends, I wasn't really feeling the whole give and receive method. I'm more of a receive and leave kinda gal. No, I'm kidding<3 But on a serious note, I saw some serious fuckery taking place around me this year. Guys and girls buying each other life sized teddy bears (that will later turn into a psycho serial killer on a full moon), chocolates for days (so that when the other gets fat, they can break up with them for that reason), and cards (I LURVE YOU? You might as well said "I don't give a shit about you"). I even saw a Facebook valentine or two (Jane Doe posted on Bob Barry's Wall: hey babe xoxo happy vday ---Bob Barry commented on Jane Doe's post: ily 2<3 ; what he should've commented "DB<3" (die bitch)). Like, come on people, if you're gonna be stupid, don't celebrate at all. Do everyone a favor and BREAK UP.

I feel that there is no true meaning to Valentine's Day because you should treat your significant other like a king/queen/duke (duke for the transgenders), everyday. ONE DAY should NOT be the definition of your ENTIRE relationship. If it wasn't working in the first place, Valentine's Day and a pack of Valentine colored M&M's isn't gonna make a difference